Chemo Hates Me.

I can't believe I was conscious enough to post something last Sunday. I read that I hoped I'd pull out of it soon. Well, I didn't. Not even close. 

Pre-chemo the doctors and nurses try to be so positive and say how there are many people that have little to no effects from chemo. People work full time and are fine. Of course, there's a spectrum. Unfortunately for me, I'm on the other end of that spectrum. These have been some of the worst days of my life. So nauseous. So tired. Then all of the other side effects, I'll spare you. Here I am on day 11 and I STILL feel sick!! Although I did make it to the first hour of church today.

I'm terrified to start this over again in 2 days. I think my family, especially my husband, is scared too. We can not do this again. I called and talked to a nurse  about other options. Luckily there are some. I'm hoping, at the very least, they'll send daily home healthcare nurses to give me IV fluids and anti-nausea meds!! The first round, I ended up at the ER to get 3 liters. And that wasn't fun at all. 

Honestly, I'm hoping they'll just hospitalize me for the first 3-4 days and run fluids constantly to get it flushed out of my system. IV, catheter, and wake me up days later when it's over please.

The ONLY thing that went my way is the Neulasta shot on day 2. That's a shot to help bring your white blood cell count back up. A lot of people get some level of bone pain associated with that. And then they need pain meds (which make me throw up) to deal with it. But I had NO bone pain!! Yay! Celebrate the little victories, right?

So, I'll try to enjoy the day I have left before starting over. I hope I get at least 1 day to feel normal.

I need to say thank you to my family. This has been an awful week. OH and a big part because I had a 2 yr old throwing up and couldn't deal with it. Poor baby, and poor grandparents. I had grandmas and grandpa taking care of it and cleaning it. Oh man. It was a bad, bad situation. Grandpa even caught the nasty bug (sorry dad). Thank goodness my husband will take over in these things.

I've had help from parents, sisters, sisters-in law, brother-in-law, aunts, friends, neighbors. Seriously. They have been organizing and bringing meals and watching kids and cleaning. And all of the texts and messages and gifts and people checking on me. I definitely know I'm not alone through this beast.