Last Pre-Chemo Day

It's the last night before chemo. I have a few things on my mind. #1 Do I have everything at home prepared? #2 How am I really going to respond to the chemo? #3 Should I get the short haircut now or wait until after Christmas? #4 GRATITUDE for the support and service of others. 

For the last few weeks, I've felt like I needed to get everything in order before treatment started. It's been preparing for life as I know it to be over. With the help of others I've been able to get a lot done. A few more things tonight and that'll be as good as it gets.

I met with Dr. Ward today. He went over the chemo and side effects in a little more detail. He gave me 4 anti-nausea prescriptions and his nurse took me to see the chemo infusion lab.

Actually after my doctor appointment today I'm feeling like, or at least hoping that, I may not be as bad as I thought I might be. I guess that everyone has a very different reaction to chemo, but many people do okay. 

I found out exactly which chemotherapy drugs I will be given. Dose dense Adriamycin and Cytoxan for the first 4 doses (every other week) followed by Taxol for the last 12 weeks (once a week). Dose dense means that they will be giving the infusions closer together than they have in the past. They used to do it every 3 weeks but have found better prognosis doing it every 2 weeks. I guess that it will wear on me more as I get further into treatment. At least they have more medications to deal with side effects!

Hair. Oh that dreaded hair issue. I know I've said it before, but I swear it's the worst part of this whole thing! Isn't that terrible!! But think about being bald (unless you're a man that's already bald-sorry). For a woman, it's embarrassing. It's going to be horrifying when it goes. I wish I could be one of those self confident women that can rock the baldness, but I'm not. So first I'm going to do a short bob cut. And I bought black hair color today. A short black bob will be fun for a whole 2 weeks until it falls out. I just can't decide when to cut it. I was ready to cut it tonight, but didn't. Every single time I go to Huntsman, someone suggests that I get a short cut now. They tell me how much easier it will be when it falls out. I don't know.

Again, I have to say how incredibly thankful I am for my large support system. I've received calls, texts, cards, flowers, gifts, service galore, and just so many expressions of love and support. It really makes this easier. And it's a miracle how so much of this support has come at just the right time. It shows me that Heavenly Father really does know me and my needs and loves me. I'm thankful for people that have been His hands to help me and my family.

I'll get to watch Gavin's Christmas singing program in the morning and then I'll start my chemo at 2:00. Here's hoping in one of the lucky ones!!